heard from rena that this evening is CYF's AGM. she asked me to go but i hesitated 'cause i hadn't been down for session for the entire year and the new members don't know me. i dunno, just have mixed feelings even though the "old fogeys" are gonna be there. ever since the older members left, i felt like CYF was no longer the same. maybe the new batches and us have a generation gap. not that our ages are that far apart, but it's the level of maturity that is portrayed from their behaviour and speech, and i find that our mindsets are significantly different. perhaps i just wanted the people in CYF to stay the same and we'll be this big happy family, but that's not possible. people always come and go; it's an eventuality. change is the only thing that is constant.

when i tell people about CYF, i always feel so proud doing so 'cause i'm proud of CYF. how the pioneers got it started, how we got this far, how much love has always been shared around, how much CYF teaches about God and His church. CYF had been my second home ever since i joined after my confirmation. there was always this sense of belonging 'cause people reached out to you, gave you their love and care. it was not just about friendship; every week you learn something more about God and you experience Him every time you go down for session. it is one of the reasons i feel so strongly about CYF, that it is God-centred. i can say that my time in CYF was really a life-changing experience for me, i grew so close to God which i never thought possible. if i didn't sign up at the recruitment drive, till today i would be a sunday catholic with shallow knowledge about my religion. i'm not a pro at apologetics at all, but i had really learnt a lot of things that were fundamental to my faith in God. there is just so much to learn about being catholic! and CYF had taught me that. some people just think that being catholic is knowing that God exists and going to church every sunday. they can go for mass for like 20, 30 years of their life without knowing the meaning of mass at all. CYF showed me what being catholic was supposed to be.

now i feel like CYF has lost its CYF Spirit, the spirit which we all felt in the past, but now is like the dwindling flame of a candle about to burn out. can CYF rekindle the flame? we recently celebrated our 10th year anniversary. would we see a 20th, or even 15th? i may be cynical about its current state; still, i never want to see CYF close down. it has been the best and most active youth group i've seen; though i haven't seen that many, but how many youth groups are proud to say that they've celebrated their 10th anniversary? CYF has really come a long way. after all that love and efforts put in, how it is moulded to what it is today, it should live on.

to the young kids and would-be leaders, lead by example and remember CYF's motto: God's love we share, for you we care.